Thursday, September 17, 2009

Prayers for a fellow infertile.

A friend of mine that I met online through an infertility support group called Conception-Obsession got her BFP last wednesday or thursday I believe. Well everything was going great her first two betas were good, but now her third one is kind of worrying her. Her numbers didnt double from her last blood draw and her nurse was a total bitch and told her basically that her pregnancy was over, I am just on here asking for some extra prayers for she has another blood test in the morning so if anyone is reading this please pray for Rachel and her little peanut to grow healthy together for the next 9 months!

Leaving on a jet plane...Or not?

Sooo, my lovely younger sister is supposed to be getting married on December the 23. Well my dear husband and I have been killing ourselves scheduling time off of work and saving money to get there and since we have tried to save money everything has to go terribly wrong right? Well first off I got terribly sick with my asthma and was in and out of ER 3 weeks ago and spent nearly 300 dollars on prescriptions. Then our compressor on our A/C unit went out when it was 98 degrees and 94 percent humidity outside, that was another 700 dollars. It seemed as though everytime we had the money to buy our tickets something came up quickly and cost us a good chunk of money. Well then last week we were going to get our tickets and now we have a freaking leak in our laundry room roof!!! What in the heck is going on??? Are we not meant to buy these tickets or is this normal of typical of home ownership(first year, first time buyers)? So this repair that we have to make is going to cost us 500 dollars and thats just a rough estimate because nothing has been ripped apart yet. Ok so this all just happened in like a four week period of time. Lovely I know but life goes on! So now we have the money saved and before any catastrophe can hit my sister sends me a text message that says "Did you already get your bridesmaid dress and plane tickets?" I say, " No remember that dress was discontinued and now I have to find a new style." She then responds with, " Ok good we are talking about moving the wedding back to this spring." ....Uhhhh......Ok? This is the third time she has called it off or moved it...I love my sister and I want to be there for her on her big day but she needs to make up her mind already! and yeah I guess I am kind of glad that "other things" got in the way of buying the tickets but did it have to cost so damn much to stall us on the tickets? LOL! I guess its a good thing I can laugh about this. So as of right now anything could go wrong with the house and then my sister could decide that she wants to keep the date for december the 23 and we could be SOL again, but thats just life! :-)

Monday, September 14, 2009

My momma

Well my mom just called me a few minutes ago and the convo started like this,

Mom: Well I really didnt want to say anything to you about this but dad made me he said you have the right to know it from me not here it from someone at work.(We both work for the same headstart.)

Me: Mom are you ok?

Mom: Yeah but my bloodwork came back off and they were doing scans of all my vital organs and they found gallstones and polyps on my gallbladder...I'm not telling Gramma or anyone in Oregon because you know how they will worry because this is how grampa's cancer started.

My grandfather was having problems with his gallbladder had it removed and suffered a most horrible death from cancer after his surgery and I am absolutely terrified for my mother...Please keep her in your prayers, she goes back to her specialist on the 22nd of this month. Pray for it just to be a bad gallbladder and no cancer. Also please pray for her not to be scared, she is very scared...We just lost my aunt 2 weeks ago to cancer also. I'm trying very hard not to cry....

Sunday, September 13, 2009

It must be broken!

My BACK!!!!! It's effing killing me! I dont know if my bed is making it worse or this computer chair or if its a combination or neither. Does anyone have any low back pain remedies? I hate to go back to the doctor so soon, I have been to the doctor at least once a week for the last four weeks. I was terribly sick with an uper respiratory infection that turned into bronchial pnemonia. So I know if I went back this week they would think I am a huge gomer. I'm going to try taking another hot shower and go for a walk to see if that helps stretch things out.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I have to put a title on these?

So I am brand new to blogger, the only other place I have ever posted a blog was on myspace, that doesnt count right? Well Its time enough for me to have my own blogging space while I stalk my friends! Anyway nothing exciting going on in the Casanova household today, sick husband and I seem to have done something to my back last weekend when we were ripping out our old kitchen sink and putting in our purdy new stainless steel one. I am having some pretty intense low back spasms and they wont leave me alone!!! I have started doing some new low back exercises today and I feel relief for a few hours after I do them so I thank google for that! Other than that nothing going on. Well I am off to stalk my friends, happy blogging everyone.


About Me

My photo
Oklahoma, where the buffalo roam..., United States
Hello, My name is Kayla I am 26 years old, married to a pretty great guy and childless...I found out four years ago that I have PCOS(poly cystic ovarian syndrome, google it.) three out of those four years we have been trying to conceive our first child. Somewhere along that journey I have become lost...I'm not the same girl I used to be and would desperately like to go back but I can't find the way. I have become cold, careless, bitter, bitchy, jealous, and sad. Most of the time I'm angry and everyday I ask myself why. Boo-hoo I know. I created this blog as an outlet for my everyday stresses and also as a support system for myself on this journey back to who I really am. My goals are to rebuild my faith in god and his love for me, learn to care about myself again so I can be a better person to others, and to try and get my baby that I so desperately want and have been trying for three of the hardest years of my life. Thank you for reading.